Archivo de la etiqueta: Noah

What kind of fanatics worship this God?

Exodus: Gods and KingsAs we learnt in Noah, God is terribly cruel and merciless. In that movie he committed genocide without a remorse and nowadays, on screens we got a new example of this callous behaviour: Exodus. Gods and Kings.

In this case, God wants the Egyptians to free the Hebrews. What would you do to free them if you are an allmighty being?

a) Simply to order it.

b) Put every single Egyptian into a deep dream and let the Hebrews flee freely.

c) Create the human beings to be good people and to get a friendly solution, without a dispute.

d) Send 10 different and horrible plagues that kill practically every animal in Egypt, and of course every little baby, causing a brutal suffering to each family in the country.

If you are a cruel god, you know that the right answer is “d”.

Rhamses (and I guess practically every viewer of the movie) doesn’t understand a god so terrible, so he asks Moses: “What kind of fanatics worship this God?”.

Well, in this movie that awful God is a creepy boy that is a perfect mixture between Caillou and a midget. I’m sure that Ridley Scott saw the achondroplasic devil of Lords of Salem and said: “Hey, if they got a tiny devil we fight back with our own tiny god”.

If you want to see Exodus you must know it’s “only” 150 minutes of already known information and a lot of yawnings, and although they have hundreds of extras even the battles are boring.

Someone should have also said to Scott that the nose of the Sphynx was destroyed in times of Napoleon, many many years after this myth. And to make the story a bit more real, that the pyramids were never built by slaves, Hebrews or whoever. I know that slaves whipped dragging huge blocks it’s quite cinematographic but it’s not real, although many people believe it.

You are now warned but you are free to enter at your own risk.

Are you upset by Noah? Don’t be


Darren Aronofsky has directed a very funny movie about Noah, the building of his ark and the great flood. You can have fun with the movie or not, but you shouldn’t be upset.
Why not? Here you have some reasons.
1. The movie is a fiction and you don’t have to be upset by fictions. If you are a scientific you know that no one can fly, so you don’t complain because Superman flies, because it’s a fiction. By definition, every movie is a fiction, so don’t be upset.

2.  The great flood never happened. It is a nice myth that, as far as we know, was invented in Mesopotamia in the Epic of Gilgamesh, more than 4.500 years ago. It looks like some cities of that area were flooded on that time and that was the origin of the myth that many other cultures have copied. If the great flood is a fiction you don’t have to be upset.
3. If the great flood is a very old myth, Noah must also be a myth, so Aronofsky can do what he wants with the character. In fact he has created Noah in his own image: a vegan with an amazing respect for the rest of animals of the world and also a little bit drunken psychopath. I guess Aronofsky doesn’t share those two last features, but at least he is a vegan.
4. So, if the great flood and Noah are myths (legends, lies, the name doesn’t matter) every book (religious or not) that includes that story and that character is a fictitious book. That’s the reason why Aronofsky can invent a very funny story full of Watchers, fallen rocky angels who protect Noah of the human hordes who wants to get into the ark when the flood begins. If you don’t like that interpretation of your book, I’m sorry for you, but I didn’t like the version that the Coen brothers  filmed of No country for old men and I don’t want to start a religious war against the directors.